Guinea Pig Requirements

I’m looking for someone who will eat all my bakings. The current position will be vacant when Jan leaves to work for Singapore next week. Now, her qualifications are:

• She eats anything. When she was still crawling, she ate her own poo (and I was scolding her why she didn’t share her chocolates. Luckily it clicked before I put it in my mouth too).

• When she was in primary school, I caught her on all fours while the dog was eating chicken heads. She was about to take a bite out of his meal because “the way the dog ate made it look so delicious”.

• She tested the difference between Friskies and Science Diet pellets for Ang Ku (yup, the cat) and says Friskies is salty while Science Diet tastes like liver and less human palatable.

• She has managed to consume biscuits and other stuff I baked which didn’t work out and which I didn’t want to eat either. Plus, she finished most of them too.

Now, I don’t expect I can find anyone outside of a mental hospital to fit the above description but yeah, the shoes are big to fill. The most important requirement is to finish up the cookie/cake because I detest wastage even though it could taste like crap slightly below expectations.

:( I will miss Jan.