Silent

Silent scream. I'm going through a tough PMS this month. I want to bite someone's head off and then snuggle down with a book to read myself to sleep.

Last night I dreamt I was involved in a murder in a hotel room. Someone had chopped off the head of this guy Paul and I was holding his head in my hands. I then placed the head into a courier bag and wiped the blood off my fingers with some tissue and dumped it in the dustbin. Of course the dustbin immediately became full.

Weeks or a month later, I had great pangs of guilt and turned to my eldest sister (she was also involved somehow) and told her my fears of the CSI team finding my fingerprints all over the bag and the room and connect me to the murder. Surely the cleaning staff would have noticed such a big package stuffed into the dustbin and curiousity would have led to the discovered of the decapitated head.

Panicking, I asked how many years I would get if I were convited. 38 years. I looked in horror at my sister and thought her kids would be really old by the time she came out of prison with me.

Then I went to speak with my pastor and confessed all sin. He was comforting but I can't remember what he said. Somehow, I started thinking about if there was a head, there must have been a body. And that sort of made sense which clicked me to rationalise that the murder didn't actually take place and it was just a dream. All the while still dreaming - dream within a dream. Then I bumped into Paul aka the decapitated and he was very much alive, thank you very much.

With that, I really got up and have since then been feeling like I want to decapitate someone. Maybe verbally. But I think I've learnt enough from CSI to know what not to do.